Grannie & the Elven Council

The fine bone china cups clink as the Tea and Cake trolley slowly trundles into the majestic room, One that befitted the Elven council and ten thousand years of culture and history.  High and wide, with marble alabaster columns that supported a wafer-thin lattice of Elven stained glass windows transforming sunlight into red, green and golden beams.  White Statues line the walls and at the back is a large curved balcony with red curtains gently sighing in the breeze. Two Elven warriors stand flanking the delicate archway,  

At the center of the room is a wide and flat table made from rich mahogany and weyr wood oak, inlaid with marquetry of the Great War.  The thick bark had been left on as a rugged edge to the table, heavily lacquered and polished over several millennia. Along one side sat the nine members of the Elven council on their custom built chairs, some wider than others, some with higher backs for the High Elves, Others with armrests for scrolls or drinks.  Each was unique and individual to its neighbor, much like their occupants.  The High Council of the Elven Alliance.

"To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit O Grannie?"  Asked Senator Asissey from his vantage at the center of the table as he played with his goatee beard.

The small wheels of the cart continued to trundle towards the table, the soft cake wobbled slightly as the delicate icing swayed. Perched at the back was Grannie the most elderly Elve alive, Who had simply declined to travel to the Summerlands.  Her clothing was simple and unadorned with jewelry nor weapons. a pair of half-moon glasses perched on her nose and Dark Grey locks which spiraled down her back into a simple wooden clasp.

The origins of the tea trolley she rode were lost in the History books.  One would assume from its rugged build that the Architect had intended it to be used for something other than serving tea and cake.  Rugged and well built, with hallmarks of quality chisled into the paneling, The term War Wagon seemed suitable.  It was then modified by Grannie over a millennium or so and imbued with enchantments for movement, heating water, and baking cakes.  Her cakes were recognized by the Illumnee Cookery guild to be among the finest in all creation.  She was a one-woman mobile bakery and Tea dispensary, specializing in Royal Weddings.

She always provided her famous tea to all she met along the road, Friend or Foe. Somehow passing through dangerous territory unscathed and avoiding a number of encounters with Orcs and Goblins.  Grannie and her Tea Trolley were respected by everyone she met and everywhere she went.  Kings and Queens asked for her counsel, Merchants asked her opinions of Market changes and Soldiers asked for a blessing and a floaty cake to see them through their day.  Everyone loved Grannie.

"I thought you could use some refreshments after all that tedious debate about taxes and trade agreements.  So I baked a few of my special cakes for you."  Said, Grannie, as she applied the handbrake to the cart and stepped down from the small perch on the back.  She was tiny by comparison and looked very frail as she took her silver capped walking stick and used it for aid as she opened a serving hatch to prepare cups and saucers on.

"This is most irregular" exclaimed General Ching the Red coated leader of the Elven 5th Army, resplendent in his ornate gold breastplate which covered his flabby belly.

"Oh come now General you can afford it in time and in your waistline measurements, it won't harm you.  You need to take a rest every few centuries General" Replied Grannie in a lightly mocking tone.

There was a ripple of amusement from the other Councillors, For the General was known to be a relentless taskmaster who always had something to do. For the majority, their mood improved and they relaxed.  The brown tea was poured into the fine bone china cups and generous slices of cake deposited with each council member.  They eagerly nibbled on the cake and washed it down with some fantastic tasting tea.

"So now that we have been suitably refreshed, May we inquire as to your true intentions this evening Grannie?"  Asked Hyldie the lone Eldarin sat at the table who was yet to even touch his tea or cake.

Grannie sipped her own tea and sighed as she placed it back onto the saucer.  Turning her head slightly to peer at him through her half-moon glass oculars perched on the end of her nose.

"I have a request from my Daughter, the Queen."

"The Queen is in a coma and by your own prognosis can only be cured with an Underdark anti-venom." he said steepling his fingers in question.

"Yes, I lied."  She replied meekly her cane wobbling as she struggled with her apparent old age.

"What? About your own daughter's malady?" Said Hyldie his brow furrowing as he exchanged concerned glances down the table with his fellow council members.

"Yes.  She is doomed, Nothing can save her, Neither You nor I and certainly not some Underdark anti-venom."

"How is this possible?  What are we to do?  We have no successor to the throne!  You should have mentioned this earlier!"  exclaimed General Ching.

The room erupted into a pitched debate about succession rights and merits and demerits of Noble houses, Guilds, The Military and relations with allies at such a precarious time.  Senator Asissy leaned forward in earnest and urged his colleagues for quiet. Grannie sipped her Tea and chose a Hob Nob biscuit to nibble on.

"Now Grannie,"  he said arm outstretched palm up to her "I must clarify this point, Is this a joke?  Did you intend to come in here serve us Tea, Cake, Set this little prank in motion then make us laugh with relief as you tell us it's all a jolly jape?  Come on It would not be the first time you had mocked this council."  he smiled at her expectantly fingers splaying open welcoming her to reveal the punchline.

Frail fingers lifted the teacup to her lips as she sipped her tea again with a sigh of contentment.  Using her cane for support she began to very slowly move towards the huge table, the cane tapping on the marble floor with each step.

"You think I am some kind of court Jester here to amuse you?"  She asked with a slice of something dangerous to her tone.   "Do I amuse you, Senator?  Do I Make you laugh? You no longer have to worry about which family will ascend to the throne.  We thank you for your services and wish you a happy retirement."  She continued to pace up and down the long table, her cane tapping on the marble floor with each step.

"You have neither the rank nor the authority to enforce retirement, If anyone should be retiring, it's you Grannie!"  said Hyldie with a light drizzle of justifiable outrage. 

Senator Asissy looked nervously to either side of him but received only baffled and blank states from the other council members.

"I ah,...Err..That is to say, I still cannot tell if you're joking or not.  I am certainly not planning on retiring anytime soon Grannie!"  He furrowed his brow at her trying to fathom her logic or this ongoing joke, A little concerned that he was likely to be teased about it later.

"Oh as you wish," Grannie Shrugged slightly nonplussed by this statement. "I just thought you might want to do something nice for your family in your last moments of life?"  She pivoted on her heel to face him, The grin on her face melting as the last echo of her walking stick ebbed away.

Hyldie glanced at the untouched cake before him, then at the various states of eaten cake on the other Council members plates whilst he endured a rapidly encroaching sense that something was amiss, afoot or possibly both.

"What did you do to the cake?"  he asked with a throat-full of trepidation.

"Ahh yes I lied about that too, It might be very bad for your health General" She conceded with a nod in his direction. "I put some of that poison that does not require an antidote from the Underdark in it."  

Senator Asissey furrowed his brow in perplexion as he tilted his head.  He was about to ask for clarification again when he coughed slightly, he tried to clear his throat but it was very tight. He coughed again and again.  His good friend and close ally, Admiral Lagathon to his right coughed and a great bubble of red phlegm was thrown onto the table, he was enduring a terrible coughing fit also.  His eyes slowly traveled back to Grannie who was sipping her tea and casually watching as the Elven council perished in-front of her.  All except for Hyldie the Eldarin.

Hyldie's eyes went wide with realization as to what was occurring and he took a mighty breath about to shout from the top of his lungs for the Guards.  Instead, a slender icicle blade slid across his windpipe, severing his major artery and freezing his windpipe, mouth, and tongue.  His hand went to his cold gargling neck and he looked aghast at Grannie, still sat on her Tea Trolley smiling at him and waving with one hand

"Toodle pip, nighty night,"  She said.  He was dimly aware of somebody else behind him for a brief second before the shadows came for him and the other members of the Elven council taking them all into eternity.

"You're getting old Grannie, He almost called for help there."  whispered a voice from the shadows.

"I could have taken him, but you seemed to be enjoying yourself with the Guards back there so much."  She gestured to the two guard shaped icicles.  "Certainly some dereliction of duty going on there methinks."

"I needed to stretch my wings, I do not get out of town much anymore." Said the voice.

Grannie dropped her cane on the floor and vaulted onto the Council table, landing with the grace of a Dancer.  Her elderly walk forgotten somehow, She walked from one corpse to another removing trinkets, valuables and a key from each.  Humming a little song to herself. Finally, she came to Hyldie and after taking his key looked at the Dark shadow on the wall.

"We need to take his head too. He has answers, She wants."  She held up the nine keys dangling from their shiny chains. "I will get the Loot, you get the Head!"  she said before jumping from the table and three-point landing over her cane, Which she retrieved and stalked towards her Tea trolley with the grace of a cat, her strong fingers gripped the cane, twisted and extracted a very sharp needle sword.

Grannie approached the fireplace and inserted one of the Keys in a hidden slot.  The Fire instantly snuffed out and a portion of the rear wall slid to one side with a low rumble of a heavy stone door.  The tunnel inside descended a curved ramp. with flickering lights ensconced in the walls.

"Get me some Gold from the vault too!"  Whispered back the voice.

"Don't worry, I will make sure we can retire after this life of crime!"

"What about the next one?"

"That one too!  See you back in town Jassant!" 

Grannie whistled to her Tea Trolley and it trundled after her like a tamed animal following into the hidden tunnel and whatever secrets lay within.